Streamyx please buck up

I am very stressful lately. Nope it is not due to my work nor not having any piao mei to entertain me. I am actually having problem with my Streamyx stim-mex lines. The loading is damn 9 slow can die. Check-check...my bills all nicely paid up to date. Checked the connections, seems to be okay. Scanned my PC for any virus, trojan horse, it shows NO virus detected.



I wonder what is wrong. Can anyone help me? When I wanna load a page from my bookmark, it show this!




Server not found...please try again! Nabeh, I have been trying for 10 times and above until I gave up! Sometime they play 9 my bekside and show me a blank page! You say vomit blood anot? Then I checked my connection lines from my ISP, it is showing "connected" and the speed is "100 mbps" yet the loading is like fark!. Even an old lady ah porpor walk faster la.



You see. .the speed is 100 mbps and yet loading so slow wan. Last 2 days can't even visit some blog tim! Dunno weather my "fans" will kill me a not .Streamyx Stim-mex!!!! Nabeh...you better buck up or else.... hehehe!!!! Sorry ya.. if I have not been visiting you lately. Don't get angry with me, ok? I'm trying my Best! I love you deep-deep!!

Just kidding

Ahwah.... there is no special day today and I have no particular reason for writing to you. I have no news to tell you....nor I have any problems to discuss with you. I have no gossip to tell you. It is only one of those happy moments when I though of YOU!! and I would like to share these thought with you.

Many SMILES begin BECAUSE OF another SMILE!!




Begins with a lazy day! sigh!!


Acting like a bunny! *woof-woof*


Some sun flower! wakakaka


*Grrrr..help me please..


*woof-woof* - flying high...

John from Europe

Many foreigners has landed inMalaysia to enjoy the lovely sun. Cheranting, Pulau Tioman, Pulau Perhentian, just to name a few. Today mia stori is about ahlian and one Mat salleh (let me name him as Long John) . It is liddis wan.


One day, Long John from europe arrived in one of the island. After a long journey from Kuala Lumpur, this first thing he wanted to do is to ease himself. He was looking for the toilet la.

When he found the toilet, he saw ahlian was sitting in front of the toilet. He was about to enter the toilet then ahlian stopped him and said forty cents in Cantonese (Sei Kok), Long John scratch his head and just wonder why in Malaysia, they have to "see cock" before entering the toilet.

Long John said "No", but ahlian insisted that he pay up before entering the toilet. Since he got no choice, Long John took out his cock and showed it to her. Ahlian said, NO..NO..saya mau Duit-duit!!! but Long John misunderstood her because he thought ahlian asking for..Do it- do it!!


So, he asked ahlian, "NOW, HERE?"

Ahlian abit angry ledi...just reply "YES, YES" because she does not understand English.She know yes and no oni. kakaka

Long John thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip up ahlian and make love to her and ahlian was screaming and said "SAKIT, SAKIT" !!Again long john thought she asked him to "suck it, suck it" pulak so he said "OK, I will suck it for you" and take the breast and sucked!!!!

Of course ahlian screamed lagi la "Oh, TUHAN!"

Long John misunderstood again. "Too HARD?? OK sweet heart, I will be gentle a bit, OK?"

Suddenly the coast guard security walked by and heard ahlian screaming asking for help, "TOLONG, TOLONG, ENCIK."

But on the other hand, Long John again misunderstood her meaning again and said ,'NOT TOO LONG , just about 6 inches only!!!!


Wakakakaka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Seat Belt Applies

The road transport department recently has done extensive testing on newly designed seat belt on brand new and old cars. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. The correct installation is as below...kekeke





Errrr...this only applies when someone "talking non stop beside you"!! wakaka.

Do You Know

Hey, got this from a friend today. Ahwah likes to share it with you. It is quite interesting wan. Really I no bruff you wan. Got lots of pictures to see and at the same time learn something. Apa maciam? I know lah, there are a lot of genius out there who know alot of thing wan geh. No harm seeing this one right? Diswan kira a refresher course. FOR those who haven't seen it yet, here goes....




The liquids inside young coconuts can be use as substitute for Blood Plasma.



Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crash.



No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.



I burned more colories sleeping than sitting there watching TV. You believe anot?



The King of Heart is the only King without a moustache.



Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.



The first product to have a BAR code was Wrigley's gum.



Walt Disney was afraid of Mice wan.



It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. True anot?



My dentist has recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.



Turtle can breathe through their butt!! Wakakaka

and finally I show you one secret which you have not seen before wan. My friend ahhuat goes to work liddat wan. Shhhh!!! you dun go tell him wokeh? SET? We all quite-quite see lah. Hehehehe...Nih









Wakaakakaka

Sperm Count

Sperm count is a measure of fertility in a man. Having a man's sperm count measured is a common method for diagnosing problems in couples experiencing fertility problems. Today's story is about Ahbeng. He has this problem of Low sperm count. He tried to make babies with Ahlian for so many years already but still in vain - egg also didn't come out one bijik! So Ahbeng went to see loctor Pek la as part of his physical examination:-


Ahbeng: Doctor-Doctor...I've been trying for so many years already but still tarak la, can help me a not?

Doctor: No worries geh...everything I can kau-tim for you wan.

Ahbeng: Sure a not? You dun bruff me wor!

Loctor Pek: Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow, I need it for testing.

Ahbeng: wokeh set!



The next day Ahbeng reappeared at the doctor office and gave him the jar, which was clean and empty.


Loctor Pek: what happened? Why you bring back empty jar for me? I need your semen!!

Ahbeng: long story la doctor!!

doctor: tell me about it, I'm listening!

Ahbeng: doctor, it like this one... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then of course I asked my lovely wife ahlian for help la. She also tried with her right hand, then with her left hand...still nothing!! She even tried using her mouth leh...still cannot wor!!!

doctor : so at last how?


Ahbeng: we even called up Ah huei, the leng lui next door for help!! She tried too. First she use with both her hands, then her armpit....still nothing. Last resort ahhuei also used her final tactic squeezing it between her legs, but still nothing leh!!


doctor : I'm shocked!! You asked your neighbor??


Ahbeng: Yalor!! Ahhuei very helpful wan. My wife ahlian also here ma! But none of us could get the jar open lah doctor!! That why it is empty lor!!!!


doctor:

Double Vision

I'm seeing double vision lately. Do you have the same problem? These are good piece of art!



In this picture I saw a beautiful face and on the other hand I saw a tree & 3 birds!



A face and flowers & butterfly.



A face and 2 horses mountain at the back ground.



Naked girl or waterfall?



An old man face or a guy riding on a horse. Aiks! there is another guy sleeping on the ground.

The Green Sneakers

Ladies and Gentlemans, while I was at Burke Street Mall, Melbourne that time, I silently took this picture lah. This lady had no fashion sense at all. Her sneakers GREEN color wan. Really no taste wan. If you all look at her sneakers sure you will agreed with me. Hehehehe!! Got to scroll a bit down. Practice and exercise your fingers lah!
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Halo!! I told you to look at the Green Sneakers !!! You seem to be looking somewhere else!!! Cheh!

Grandma "Geng ah"

Today's story is about Ahbeng and Ah por por. Like this one the story...AhBeng is a young guy. He is very well built muscular man and handsome too. All the girls in town likes him wan. One day he found himself unemployed and he has to pay his bills, rent, food etc...




This is ahbeng. Muscular a not jek?


In order for him to get some easy money, Ahbeng put up a sign outside the door of his apartment. There below la weii!!!!..where are you looking ?










Not long after that .... ah por por came back from the market, walks pass his door. She stop and read the sign la. Ah Por por thought for a while and then she slowly walk back home. When reached home already, she straight walked into her room and she decides to break her piggy bank. She counted the money....woah!! ah por por happy like bird la!! With the money in her hand, she head for the young man's apartment.





Ah por por knock-knock on the door...






Ahbeng opens the door and ahpor por hands him the money. After counting the money, he tells her it is $100 dollars you have here.......you wanna do it it bed?




Cheng..cheng...cheng....!!!!!!!

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Don't be naive young man! I want to do it 4 times on the floor!!!! You can stand it a not?




Wakakakaka!!

Cartoons - Just Kidding

Hello everybody!! today I don't have story to tell. Hahaha... but i have cartoons to show you. Got it from my friend. Some of you might have seen it already but nevermine la...i post it can anot jek?

If you were at the shopping mall with your kids and they ask you to buy them balloons...never refuse to oblige. Why?? kekeke...if your kids say this aloud at the counter... what will you do? Pull his ears? Slap him? or you quickly go out from the store? etc....





If you made love to your hubby make sure that your kids are all asleep. And remember to close the door!! Who knows he see and heard what you fellars are doing!! This kid was in school and teacher asked the students...which body part did they think should go to heaven first. You know what? AhBeng's son quickly answered......






Muahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun EVERIBODI!!!!

Ah Tiu Went For Medical Check Up

One fine Sunday morning, Ah Diu called his best friend Ah Tiu for "lim teh" session. This two old fellars headed to their favourite coffee shop downtown for breakfast. After eating, Ah Diu begin to smoke his first cigarettes of the day and started a conversation with Ah Tiu.


Ah Diu: Oi..ah tiu ar...nowadays hor.. alot of people si beh sked of dying lar. I can see many peoples are heading to the nearest hospital for medical check-up liao.

Ah Tiu: I dunno wor...people health conscious kenot meh?

Ah Diu: Yalor..I think we should go for check up oso lah since our age catching up ledi. Somemore 'lu si beh song' la just got married to another 21 years old wife. Liddat, you lagi must go for check la see your little brader still can work anot!!!!



Ah Tiu: No need check lah Ah Diu... "Waa tiam tiam ka lu kong" hor...i think my brader still can lar!!


Ah Diu: Woah!! really ar?

Ah Tiu: Of course la. Na Beh!! baluuu yesterday my 21 years old wife told me she is pregnant liao.

Ah Diu: Si kiu lu!!! Kong hee!! Kong Hee sama lu sien.

Thereafter, Ah Diu and Ah Tiu went home seperate way la. On the way home, suddenly Ah Tiu dunno why "siam" straight to the hospital for check-up. At the Doctor opis, Ah Tiu and the Doctor mia conversation:-


Ah Tiu: Loctor..loctor!! Waa ka lu kong horr, I've never felt better in my entire life man, in fact I have a 21 years old mia wife who is pregnant and having my baby! I hor si beh happy liao.








Doctor: At first the loctor check-check Ah Tiu punya chest la then.. can you take off your pant & underwear..i need to do a test. (while the test is in progress, ah tiu asked the loctor)

Ah Tiu: ang chua? what do you think loctor?? eh sai boh??

Doctor: thinks for a while and shake his head and says , Ah tiu, let me tell you one stori la...it liddis wan. I know a guy whois a hunter, he never misses his hunting season. But one day horr he is in a hurry to go hunting and he accidently grab his umbrella instead of his rifle. While in the forest, suddenly a tiger appears out of no where in front of him. This guy raises his umbrella at the tiger and squeezes the umbrella handle and the tiger drop dead in front of him. So Ah Tiu.. ang chua? what do you think??

Ah Tiu: That's impossible loctor!! How can that tiger just drop dead liddat..someone must have SHOT it.


Doctor: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to tell you that!!!!!



Ah Tiu: Tiu lor!! Hailat lor liddat!! Jialat liao!!!







Muahahahahahahaha