Ahwah

Nine months later

2008-10-22T16:40:00.000+08:00

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realise it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry ,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do 'said Bob'.

'Did you, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... You know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Chinese Pearls

2008-10-15T02:06:00.000+08:00

The principal oyster beds lay in the Persian Gulf, along the coasts of India and Sri Lanka, and in the Red Sea. There are 2 types of pearls, that is saltwater and freshwater pearls. Do you know that Chinese pearls came mainly from freshwater rivers and ponds?

Chinese pearls come in a variety of hues including pink, apricot (yellowish orange), peach (pinkish orange), champagne (slightly pinkish yellow), plum (reddish violet), bronze (reddish brown), and every shade in between. Unlike black pearls, these pearls can be bleached white by prolonged exposure to the sun or by soaking the pearl in a bleaching agent for several hours. Natural color Chinese freshwater pearls should be stored in a darkened environment in order to preserve the natural pastel color, since they may fade with long exposure to sunlight.

Anyway, there are equally good pearls!

Free Sex Contestants

2008-10-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

Two men, AhChong and AhBeng drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of petrol. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

AhChong: How do we enter?

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."

AhChong: O.K. I guess 7,

"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again"

The next week, the two men returned to the same station to get petrol. When they went inside to pay, AhBeng asked the attendant if the contest was still going on.

"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex."

AhBeng: I'll guess number "2"

"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again."

As they walked back to the car, AhChong said to AhBeng,"You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."

"No way," said the AhBeng. "My wife won twice last week."

Monkey in the plane

2008-07-14T11:39:00.002+08:00

Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: 'When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Tying their belts'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Saying Hello! Good morning!'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Checking the system'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Looking for my people'

Officer: 'After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Having beverages and snacks'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Serving the travelers'

Officer: 'What were the Pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Eating & throwing'

Officer: 'After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Some were sleeping and some were reading'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Make up'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Nothing'

Officer: 'Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'All were sleeping'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the air hostess'

Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!

No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Technology Tires by Michelin

2008-06-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the my old files and came a cross these next generation new tires. They are designed by Michelin. How nice if our country have these type of tires. I wondered if these type of tires will stand the heat on our road. These airless tires looked so slim and if travel from Kuala Lumpur to Haadyai I'm guess these tires will dry up to the rim! Muahahahaha.

However, the advantages of these tires are :-

a) No more air valves.

b) No need to pump air at the gas station.

c) No more repair kids.

d) No more flat tire!

I wondered how much does it cost for each tires. Anyone knows?

Reincarnation

2008-06-06T02:07:00.002+08:00

Steve came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe "Who are you?" demanded Steve, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."

Steve was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got to send me back straight away." St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Steve was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Steve, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."

"Never" replies Steve.

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

Steve!!, wake up you drunk ass*#@%, you've shit in the bed!

The Polar Bear and the Husky Dogs

2008-05-27T13:32:00.002+08:00

Strange that animals in the wild can come in peace but then we humans seems to be perpetually at war with each other, within organizations political and non political alike. If you don't already think animals are far more spiritually advanced than we humans, think again. Stuart Brown describes Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada 's Hudson Bay.

Don't mess with woman

2008-05-26T00:01:00.001+08:00

A couple Mr Smith and his wife goes on vacation to a fishing resort in a lake . The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning Mr Smith returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors the boat and settles in to read her book. It was nice and aa quite place to concentrate on reading her book.

About an hour later, there comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

Mrs Smith: Reading a book (thinking it rather obvious).

Warden: You're in a restricted fishing area.

Mrs Smith: I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading.

Warden: Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.

Mrs Smith: If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault.

Warden: But I haven't touched you

Mrs Smith: That's true, but you have "all the equipment", for all I know you could start at any moment.

Warden: Have a nice day, ma'am as the warden motors away.

What does marriage means - Some cartoons

2008-05-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Red Indian with one testicle

2008-05-19T01:37:00.006+08:00

There once was an Red Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was "Onestone"
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, one day Onestone finally cracked and said...If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill him.

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue bird forgot and said, Good morning, Onestone.

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.

'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????...........................take a guess will ya? Think about it.

You can't kill two birds with one stone! Muahahaha!!!!

The Hippie & The Nun

2008-05-06T02:26:00.001+08:00

A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her:

'Can we have sex ?'

'No,' she replies, 'I'm married to God.'

She then stands up and gets off at the next stop.
The bus driver who overheard, turns to the hippie and says, 'I can tell you
how to have sex with her!'

'Yeah?', says the hippie.

'Yeah', says the bus driver. 'She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night
at midnight to pray. So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a
hood, so that your face is covered, put some luminous powder in your beard,
and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God.'

The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as
suggested on the next Tuesday night.

'I am God,' he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face, 'I
have ordained it. You must have sex with me.'

The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal
sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.

'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.
As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.

'Ha-ha!,' he cries. 'I am the hippie!'

'Ha-ha!,' cries the nun. 'I'm the bus driver!'

Story time!

2008-04-30T01:29:00.003+08:00

A mama camel and her baby camel are talking one day when the little one ask... mama, why I have got these 3 toed feets?

Mama Camel replies, Well my little camel, when we trek a cross the dessert, your little toe will help you stay on top of the sand so that it will prevent you from sinking.

I see! said the little camel.

A few moments later, the little camel ask, Mama camel again....why I have hese lovely long eye-lashes?

Mama camel replies, well...my little one, they are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the long journey through the hot dessert.

Thats wonderful Mama, replies the little camel.

A short while later the little camel asks again , Mama...Why I have got these great ugly humps on my back? I don't see other animals have it on them.

Mama Camel replies, We are Camels!!! Oh yes about the humps, they are there to help you
store water for our long journey a cross the dessert so we can go without drinking water for very long periods.

Wow!! That great, replies the little camel. We have great feet to stop us from sinking into the sand, long eyes-lashes to keep the sand from entering our eyes and the humps to store water, BUT Mama !!!

Yes, my little camel? replies Mama camel.

BUT THEN,

"WHAT THE 'FARK' ON EARTH ARE WE DOING IN THE ZOO?? "

Lesson on speaking proper chinese words

2008-04-25T13:50:00.004+08:00

There other day while I was blog hopping, suddenly I stumble upon Yinsi Yat's blog. The conversation between Mr Bernard and the aunty is just hilarious. After that I looked into Yubetube and found this. Chinese people are the one who speak vulgar words in their daily life.

You will hear that people will add vulgar words between their sentences. But according to Professor Danny Wong, he said that the vulgar words are wrongly constructed most of time. When said it wrongly, you can get beaten up!

Professor Danny Wong has 50 years experiences in exploring vulgar words and he said that the 5 basic element in saying vulgar words MUST have the words TIU, HAI, KAU, LAN and CHAT. Expression while saying vulgar words play an important role too. Watch this short video about the conversations.

Do you eat eel?

2008-04-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

I could remember the good old days when I was still a notty boy when I was young. My favorite pass time was catching guppies and fighting fish in the drains. My friends and I we having great time netting the fighting fish when suddenly a small snake appeared. As a little boy that time all I know it was a snake! Immediately, I had it netted and thrown on the bank-side and stampeded it to death. Today, whenever I catch an eel, I could not help but to think of this silly funny episode.

So sorry for didn't update my blog recently. I was away fishing eel last couple of days. Our favorite spot are Tanjung Karang, Sekinchan, Sungai Besar and Sabak Bernam. It is impossible to miss the lovely sight of the padi farms. The boys are so excited and so am I. Eel fishing is about speed. you can actually make an extra pocket money fishing eels. The restaurants people in town of Sg Besar and Sekinchan are ready customer to buy your catch. Hey, most probably the eels you are eating at the restaurant in Sekinchan are catch by me!!! wakakaka

My arsenal for this trip included the "Ugly stik" fishing rod and my Penn reel spooled with PowerPro braid 30lb. I use size 4 hook (needle point) high carbon hooks. The eels has a small pointed mouth with very sharp jaws, therefore the sharper the hook the better. Remember to armed yourself with a plier. We use chicken meat as baits which is easily available. It is cut into small cubes and distributed evenly and off we go hunting down the eels!!! When you want to eat eels, it is best cook with "kung poh" style. Ask any restaurant cook he'll know! So want to eat eels, anyone? Hehehehe

I'm so exhausted now! I want to sleep!!

Weird Fish

2008-04-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

Look what they have found in Chelyabinsk city. The story is that there was a construction site with a deep foundation ditch. They have touched some underground river in that place so the water in the ditch didn't get away so it stayed there full of water.

Then some workers a few months later spotted some movement in this water, they threw some pieces of their lunch in the trench which caused a big activity inside. They were puzzled who is there? And caught one thing up then in big panic stepped away cause it tried to bite them so they had to kill it with some equipment and here are the remains of it. It was around 5 feet length. Nobody of them got any idea of what's that:

All sorts of things in one day

2008-04-10T01:10:00.002+08:00

Due to the nature of my job, I am always on the road travelling to my clients destination be it far or near. Sometimes to find an address which is ambigious would get you crazy especially the backyard factories. You will end up calling the person to confirm the address again and again similar to this one below. kakaka!!

When you are over and done with your appointment, you need to get some fresh air outside. Stretch-stretch here and there. ..to loosen up your muscles and saw this thing together-gether on top of the lamp post. Perhaps like that can get better reception or get free 'astro'??
Faster do one at home!!!

While you were travelling again on the road and stopped at the traffic lights near the housing area, suddenly you found so many free melons for you to pluck. Kakakaka!!! Goodness! Why can't they hang it inside?. Oh no, wait!! she is giving you free hints on what number to buy in the next magnum lottery draw. I can figured out 1311, what say you??

While speeding to Subang Jaya for the next appointment at the north south highway, this Mat Rempit is trying to be funny on the road. Niasing!! the mat rempits at it stunts again. Look at the passenger at the back, she is wearing red color undies la wei!! Got 'ong' la today!!! This time really must wack magnum lottery.

Lunch time is about 2pm liddat. Arrived at subang SS15. My god, to find a place to park here is like hell. Around and round ...aiks..finally got one. You got to be quick or else your parking place kena snatch wan i tell you and you must buy your parking ticket fast...why? those sorhai are hiding behind the trees waiting to give you a summons for not displaying parking ticket. RM100 fine you know!! While walking to the nearest coffeeshop for lunch, someone offer you easy loan (cash money). No nit guarantor wan. So...if you forgot to bring your wallet or handbag, make no fear they are people to help you wan. Just your handphone will do the trick ledi. Muahaha.

The weather nowadays is so freaking hot and it is burning outside. Some of you so 'syiok' sitting in the opis under the aircon happily chatting in MSN and blogging away. I so jeles la. Kam-bing back to this hot weather even ~~spiderman~~ "cicakman" want to comeout to show off . Hahahaha!!! LOL.

Hahaha..I'm just clowning away only la. Nothing much. While driving back to opis, suddenly this fler over take me and gave me a hon. Niamafulatt!!!! WTF???

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Now you see!! I'm not the clown ....HE IS !!!!!!! Muahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

2008-03-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,

The administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

Hair-dryer

2008-03-18T01:12:00.003+08:00

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday. The dryer is unopened and well over the Customs limits; and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.

Is there any way you could carry it through Customsfor me? Under your robes perhaps?""I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.""With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.

"When they reached the Customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.

"The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."Next."

City Lights of the World

2008-03-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

I delighted that I got these pictures from a Mun Loong. The City lights during a night at these cities are just awesome. I hope and wish I will be able to visit these countries and see it with my own eyes. Although I have not been to these places before, I glad I could witness it now.

Toronto

Washington

Niagara Falls

Moscow

Los Angeles

London

Denver

Las Vegas

Petersburg

Which city you like best?

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

2008-03-14T02:48:00.001+08:00

There is not one dirty word in it.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well,
I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he
said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do
we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on
the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.
You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but
I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on
the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her
throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to
work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
the park to get the job done right. People were
crowding around four and five deep to get a good
look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than
three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll
set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand
very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Cartoon time

2008-02-10T01:00:00.000+08:00

If this doesn't make you laugh ... I don't know what will.

Life Explained

2008-02-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

On the first day,god created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll giv e you back the other ten?'

So god agreed.

On the second day, god created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twent y years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And god agreed.

On the third day, god created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And god agreed again.

On the fourth day, god created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said god, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

The joy of getting old

2008-02-05T00:38:00.000+08:00

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the bar. After a few drinks, they ended up at the local brothel.

The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her Manager, "Go up
to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed"

These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them, they won't know the difference.

The Manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home, the first man says, You know.... I think my girl was dead!!!

DEAD?? says his friend. Why do you say that?

Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her. His friend says...Could be worse I think mine was a witch!!

'A WITCH? WHY the hell would you say that?

'WELL, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little Bite, then she FARTED and flew out of the window...taking my teeth with her.

The loyal wife

2008-02-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an honest loyal wife, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Would you pay $22,000 for a pussy?

2008-01-26T16:56:00.000+08:00

Would you pay $22,000 for a ~~pussy~~ cat? This is no ordinary cat. It is a designer cat that has become the latest exotic pet for fashionable homeowners in America. The specially-bred Ashera is the largest, rarest and most exotic house cat in the world.

The pricey puss is a result of breeding the African Surval and the Asian Leopard cat with a domestic cat. Bred by Los Angeles-based Lifestyle Pets, the company claims the Ashera "is a new ultra-exotic breed of domestic cat that already has wealthy animal devotees paying to get on the waiting list". But it has the markings of its wild cousins and is bigger, standing four feet high on its hind legs. It can also grow up to weight a whopping 30 pounds.

Concerns have been expressed that the cat's wild ancestry may emerge as hyperactive behaviour when it is kept as a domestic house pet. Bit in response to this, the developers have included ten years of sessions with a renowned animal behaviourist in the hefty price tag. The cost of the cat includes nail caps to stop the kitten destroying furniture, hand delivery to the owner's home and a one-year guarantee. Ashera fanciers can order the latest must-have pet through the website of California-based Lifestyle Pets.

Mafulat! Buying a cat is so 9 expensive nowadays!

Look who is blogging!

2008-01-24T16:54:00.000+08:00

Hi, look who is blogging? Now with easy access of the computer, even the animals also wanted to write something on their blogs. These fellers are chatting on Google talk! Muahahahaha

Mama monkey and her little ones are waiting for their turn!! kakakaka

Don't disturb me can? I'm talking to my friends here! Meow!

Granny wants to get married

2008-01-21T16:53:00.000+08:00

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you.... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

How to get an off-day from work

2008-01-18T16:50:00.000+08:00

Mr Beng urgently needed a few days off work, but he knew his Boss would not allow him to take leave . He thought that maybe if he acted "CRAZY" (sot plug) then he would tell him to take a few days off.

So he hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. His co-worker AhLing asked him what he was doing. He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he was "CRAZY" (sot plug) and give him a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing Mr Beng?" He told him that he was a light bulb.

Boss said, You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days off. Mr Beng jumped down and walked out of the office.

When his co-worker AhLing followed Mr Beng, the Boss asked her. And where do you think you're going?

Ahling said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark lah."

Hictoric fish found in pond

2008-01-15T16:42:00.000+08:00

Ah Hock's daughters

2008-01-12T16:40:00.000+08:00

Ah Hock has 3 daughter. He is concern about his daughters future husbands and asked them what kind of man they would like to marry.

AhHock: What kind of man will you marry?

Eldest daughter: I would like to marry a man with 3 dragons on his chest.

AhHock: What kind of man will you marry?

2nd daughter: I would like to marry a man with 2 dragons on his chest.

and finally AhHock asked his youngest daughter...

AhHock: What kind of man will you marry?

Youngest daughter: I would like to marry a man with one "draggin" on the ground wan.

AhHock:

Protecting her "Camel"

2008-01-08T16:36:00.000+08:00

Two old ladies Ahlian and AhSoh were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies AhSoh pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Ahlian: What's that you have there?
AhSoh: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
AhLian: Where did you get it?
AhSoh: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, AhLlian went into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

Ahlian: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.!!

(Kakakakaka!! Camel is a cigarettes brand name.)

Drunk talks

2008-01-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

Stage 1 - SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING

This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

Chinese vulgar words explained

2008-01-02T15:52:00.000+08:00

Did you hear vulgar words today in your office or on your way to work or while having your lunch break? Most of the time, in our daily life especially the Chinese will pick up how to say vulgar words easily. You will hear that people will add vulgar words between their sentences. But according to Professor Danny Wong, he said that our vulgar words are wrongly constructed most of time. When said it wrongly, you can get beaten up! Wakakaka.

Professor Danny Wong has 50 years experiences in exploring vulgar words and he said that the 5 basic element in saying vulgar words MUST have the words TIU, HAI, KAU, LAN and CHAT. Expression while saying vulgar words play an important role too. Watch this short video about the conversations

How safe are our car parks?

2007-12-31T15:49:00.000+08:00

Imagine this. You are alone all by yourself and you need to get to your car at the shopping mall or at your office car park. Are you scare walking alone down to the car park? Although there are security guards around the shopping malls but nowadays as I can see it, most of the security guards are foreigners. (Myanmar or Bangladeshi). Can you rely on them for your safety? If you are not scare of robbers, rapist what about ghost? Wakakaka!!

I can recall some cases like the one in 2003 (Canny Ong) was abducted at a shopping mall car park in Bangsar. She was driven to another place where she was raped and murdered. Last 2 months, an air stewardess was kidnap in a shopping mall in Petaling Jaya and if you did remembered, last month there was a girl (Dora Goh) was abducted in an open air car park in Glenmarie, Shah Alam. Luckily she was later freed and returned safely to her family. Lately, former TV3 news caster Wan Zaleha Radzi was kidnap at a car park in Damansara. She was soon released at a roadside after a terror 3km drive of her life. She had made a police report and the police are investigating the case.

Here are some useful tips for you.

1) Never park your car at a dimly lit parking space although there is a parking lot.

2) Always go in groups.

3) Lock your car immediately after entering your car. Hon if there is someone try to open your car doors. (Nowadays, there are peoples come near your car pretending to sell you watches!)

4) I'm sure you have a camera phone or a digital camera with you. Take a picture of the parking lot number which you have parked your car so that you know where to find it. I've heard many cases whereby people don't remember where they have parked their cars espeacially in KLCC, Mid Valley and One Utama. Wakakaka!!! Oops remember NOT to park at Lot number F15 wokeh? WHY?? See picture la wei!!

Did you see what I see? Click to enlarge

Parking lot number F15!!!!! Click to enlarge

Wonderful creations

2007-12-29T15:47:00.000+08:00

Hello all,

Today got nothing much to say. In fact, I dunno what to say. Wakaka. I'm in holiday mood. Today I just wanna share with you these pictures. It is very creative and it will make thing easier for us. Don't you think so?

1) Cup and Cookies

This mug is very good for home and office use. Especially for tea break, blogging or while watching television. You can put 2-3 of your favourite cookies. You don't need extra plates. It's made for right handed and left handed.

2) ~~Plotek~~ Protect your banana

People say eat one apple a day and keep the doctor away. In fact, eat banana also can wan. If you use this banana plotection case, your banana will be in it original color and fresh at all time. Letting you enjoy perfect banana anytime any place.

3) Spesel MUG

Ideal for office use. In the office, there are lot of peoples walking in and out of the pantry. Sometime you may be unaware that people who doesn't bring their own mug may use your mug. You wouldn't want tasting other people saliva right? Well, here is a special mug for you. It is call Lock-Mug. It has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole. Apa maciam? cool a not?

4) Spesel night slipers

Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet...Do you wish you could see in the dark? Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm.

and lastly

5) Baby pillow

This one will keep your baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. Can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night.

The Psychopath Test

2007-12-27T15:40:00.000+08:00

If you pass this test, you may need to see a doctor.

To find out, please read the question below, and try to come up with the right answer.

This is NOT a trick question.

The question is exactly what it is; there are no games. No one I know so far has got it right . . .

"A woman went to the funeral of her own mother. There, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought the man was amazing. Really amazing. She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him again. A week later she killed her sister."
Question:

What is her motive for killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you look at the answer below. Hehehehe. Scroll lah wei!!!

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Answer (highlight text below to read):

She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Several arrested serial killers were given test and answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you did, admit it, and look for a good doctor.

Alien Found in Thailand

2007-12-25T15:37:00.000+08:00

While it is unclear from the photos what is lying on the table but the local residents of this small town in Thailand claim that this “creature” was born by a cow!

I do not believe such a thing. How can a cow bear a human like creature? I think this "little creature" is being used to make black magic. As you know, ~~thai cock~~ Thailand is very famous for it Siam black magic. Dun play-play!

So tell me, what do you think it is?

So who want to go Thailand with me? We go there explore and see, What say you?

Today I wanna rap

2007-12-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

Can study continue STUDY
Kenot study, work FACTORY
Kenot rely on CHARITY

Earn a little SALARY
Just enough to buy ROTI
Go work no WIRA but LRT.

Colleagues formerly FRIENDLY
Daily treated me to KOPI
Now gradually get CRAZY
Behind me say I LAZY.

Boss has no SYMPATHY
Work always mau HURRY
He say I not enough BUSY
Often ask me do OT

Midnight kam-bek by TAXI
TAXI surcharge KILLING ME
Now i pokai ledi and tarak MONEY
Borrow from chettia kena EXTRA FEE
Coz money is never FREE

Boy/girl-friend go STEADY
Serious, and then MARRY
9 months later be DADDY
Ini Maciam Lu Happy like bird ledi

Hospital bills monthly pay back RHB
Earn not enough FEEL GUILTY
Jump down suicide and MATI
No money 4 funeral how to BURY

Muahahaha!!!!!!!

Careful when ironing you shirts

2007-12-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

I hate to iron my shirts and pants. I normally send all my clothing to the laundry for ironing. They charges me 90 cents per piece. I wonder how much your place charge.

Luckily, I don't encountered anything similar to the video below last time. This guy is going for a date with his girlfriend I think. Click to view this short video lah wei! Sure laugh till drop wan. Wakakakaka

Dei "macha" what lah you!!!

Do you like fishing?

2007-12-19T15:29:00.000+08:00

Fishing is one of my many hobbies. I'll make it a point to go fishing twice or three times a week. I found out that fishing at Sea Lion in Klang quite astonishing where the red snapper and garupa will give you a very good fight.

One has to have at least minimum 50lbs braided line, good fishing hooks, swivel and a very good fishing rod to bring up a good fighting fish. I can assured you that the thrill is so exciting that money can't buy this kind of thrill. kekeke.

Although I like fishing so much, there are people who are more desperate than me. The other day, while I was on my way go fishing, my friends and I saw one guy also fishing. He waited very patiently for the big fish to bite his bait. You no believe me? Scroll lah... hahahaha. Long time no exercise your fingers already.

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Muahahaahaha!!!!!!! Uncle...there got fish??

Office stress?

2007-12-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

What do you do if thing doesn't work out well for you in the office. Firstly, you got jammed for hours on the road when coming to office and you haven't taken your breakfast. This could be a Monday morning blues when this chap got a call from his boss in the office and spend him "drink coffee". There after most probably he got scolding from his boss. Came out from boss office, continue to do his work. Faster click to watch video la!!

This time, I think his boss not only spend him drink coffee. Now his boss treat him give a love letter.

Ahlian going to London

2007-12-15T15:25:00.000+08:00

Ahbeng came home from work one day to find his wife (Ahlian) sitting on the front step with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and Ahlian replied ..Honey, "I'm going to London."

Ahbeng asked her as to why she was going and she told him "I've just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free".

Ahbeng ponder for a second and then went into the house and packed his bags as well and returned to the step with his wife.

Ahlian asked... "And just where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going too!!" Ahbeng replied.

"Why?" She asked.

"I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year"!! We only did it twice this year!!!

Oops! wrong number

2007-12-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday morning and Ahbeng just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife Ahlian that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Ahbeng heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. :P

Hello?'' says a little girl's voice. ''Hi, honey, it's Daddy,'' says Ahbeng. ''Is Mommy near the phone?

No, Daddy. Mommy is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank. After a brief pause, Ahbeng says, ''But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!''

''Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!''

''Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house.'' :lol:

''Okay, Daddy!'' A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. ''Well, I did what you told me, Daddy.'' :)

''And what happened?''

''Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead.'' :(

''Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank then?''

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too.''

There is a long pause.

''Swimming pool? What swimming pool? Is this 03- 8211967?

911 Emergency

2007-12-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

People says that if we encounter any problems, we must call 911 for help. If you heard any cracking sound down the hall or notice smoke from your kitchen, normally we would call 911 for help. Immediately, your calls will be attended to.

It is vitally important to teach your childrens too on know how to call 911 for help just in case he or she needed it most. This smart four girl encountered a small problem while at ~~skool~~ school and she did the right thing asking for help. Hahahaha

Ahbeng is very sick

2007-12-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

Ahbeng was laying on his bed very sick while his wife, Ahlian, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to quiver with sound.

"My larling Ahlian," Ahbeng whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep Shhh! Don't talk."

But Ahbeng was insistent. "Lou por," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you before I die."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Ahlian. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

"No, no. I must tell you this so that I can die in peace, it's liddis wan, I slept with your sister, your best friend and our next door neighbor."

Ahlian mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Ahbeng, don't torment yourself. I know all about it ledi," Ahlian said. "Why do you think I poisoned you jek?"

Ahlian:

The escaped prisoner

2007-12-07T15:15:00.000+08:00

Today's story . One day, a man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years for rape. He also kena "rotan" (cane) for this crime.

As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money, guns and obviously he is also looking for clothes to change. Ahbeng and Ahlian are both checked into bed already and the prisoner gave them a Big surprise!!

He orders Ahbeng out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying Ahlian up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. :)

While the prisoner is in the bathroom, Ahbeng tells his wife Ahlian, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you. :P

Ahlian "tulan" ledi after heard Ahbeng has said to her and responded....Honey...He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was a gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline/ KY in the bathroom. :)

"BE STRONG HONEY, i LAFU (LOVE) YOU TOO!!!

Ahbeng:

Muahahahahahaha!!!

Fishing trip

2007-12-02T15:11:00.000+08:00

I'm getting all gear up for tomorrow fishing trip with a couple of my friends. Has been busy shopping for the neccessary baits, sea hooks of various sizes, 50-100 lbs lines. My reel need servicing and when I sent it to the tackle shop, the shop owner said it needed several days to service it. Sigh!

Made me no choice but to bring it along with me. I hope to get some big fish back! Hahahaha. Wish me luck and also my safety will you? See ya and have fun.

Any takers for this chick

2007-12-01T15:08:00.000+08:00

Have you tried online dating before a not? I can bet you that when you first choose your "target", surely you'll go for a pretty face, Right a not? She got a cute face and big "melon". Sure go all out lah. Hahahaha!!! Has been dating online quite a while until I got her full photo! I pass! Any takers?

This is a salutary lesson for those who are gullible enough to believe all they see and read in the advertisements, especially on dating websites. Don't be taken in boys - and girls! Take it all with a packet of salt. Don't let your dream of the perfect date turn into the nightmare date from hell, as happened to the guy in this case.

The inexperience new married couples

2007-11-29T15:06:00.000+08:00

Ahbeng and AhLian are lovely new married couples. They are lying in bed one night. The wife AhLian is all curled up, ready to go to sleep while AhBeng wanted to finish reading a story book he left over last night and he turn his bed lamp on to read. As Ahbeng is reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her “special area”. He does this a few times but only for very short intervals before turning back to read his story book.

After a few strokes, AhLian gradually becomes more and more aroused and she assumed that her husband is seeking sex from her and thought that her husband is too shy to ask. To please her husband, AhLian gets up and starts stripping slowly her night gown right in front of him. AhBeng is totally confused and ask Ahlian.

AhBeng: Larling! why are you taking off your clothes?

AhLian: Lou kung! You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay. You made me so horny!

AhBeng: No.. no.. not all al dear!

AhLian asks angrily : Mafulatt! Then what the hell were you doing?

AhBeng: Can’t you see I’m trying to finish reading a book here? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

AhLian:

Eel fishing is fun too.

2007-11-27T15:03:00.000+08:00

Girl fighting at Berjaya Times Square

2007-11-25T15:01:00.000+08:00

Hello girls,when is the last time you got into a boxing fight, flying kicks fight, hair pulling fight? If you don't how to fight, let these two ladies show you how to fight. It happens in front of a popular shopping complex in Kuala Lumpur.

Perhaps they are fighting over a guy!!

Cool way of folding your clothes

2007-11-23T14:57:00.000+08:00

If you're staying home alone all these while. Beside doing the daily household chorus like mopping, sweeping,cleaning the toilet and washing & drying the clothes outside, folding the clothes also play an important part in completing the tasks.

Being as brilliant and creative I usually be, let me show you a new way of folding your clothes. It is a home made clothes folding machine which I recently came a crossed. Hehehe...all you need to get prepare are cutter, cardboards and cellophane tapes. Watch the video below for a clearer idea how it is done. "cool a not!!!!"

I'm better than James Bonds

2007-11-21T14:50:00.000+08:00

Caught on films that this bird is the culprit. The shopkeeper reported that his chips kept missing from the shelfs everyday. So one day he hired me to do undercover. Of course, my work I won't failed you wan. This is the result and recording.

Next time, if you want to know if your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating you....can hire me to do undercover. I work part time as private investigator. Nowadays, earning a decent living is so tough. Everything also must try. I charge very cheap only. Service up to your expectation one. So how? Wanna hire me anot jek?

Cheers!

Coffee anyone?

2007-11-19T14:47:00.000+08:00

I'm sure many of you have been to Starbucks Coffee to hang -out, do your free blogging there and also talk nonsense there. At the same time, taste the nice aroma of good creamy coffee from Starbucks. How much do you pay for a mug of coffee from Starbucks? RM11++ ??

BUT....I can bet you that you have not been to this place before to have nice coffee. The coffee offered from here is equally good compared to Starbucks coffee. The place also sounds similar to Starbucks but here you can't do free blogging lah coz don't have free lines!! but they offer other speciality wan like "Horse Racing" machine. Eh...here 1 mug of coffee only cost you $1.

The penis song

2007-11-17T14:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Penis...I dont think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all you do is stare at the floor!

Oh dear penis...
I don't like you anymore,
It used to be you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by...

Now it seems thing have changed,
And I think that you're the one to blame.
Dear Penis, I don't like you anymore,

He says...Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
cuz..when you get to drinking,
You put me places I've never been before,

Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore,
Why can't we just get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship?
And come to term with truly how we feel,

If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever,
Dear Penis
I think I like you after all,
Oh and Rodney...while you shavin....shave my balls!!!!

Song sang by RodneyCarrington.com.

Pearls from China

2007-11-15T14:44:00.000+08:00

Beijing Olympic swim suits

2007-11-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

I'm are very busy attending fashion show lately. We have been flying in and out of China like boarding a bus. Just recently, I attended a swim suit fashion show held in Beijing. It seem that these are the official swim suit meant for the Beijing 2008 Olympics next year.

I was so busy with all the china ladies there and also managed to snap some pictures to load it in.

Aren't these swim suit nice?

Mouth wash

2007-11-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

A neatly dressed Ahbeng stopped Mike in the street and asked ....Sir, would you like to buy a bottle of this mouthwash for $200? Mike said, are you out of your mind? Who wants to buy a bottle of mouthwash for RM200 bucks? that day light robbery!

Ahbeng seemed hurt and then tries again ..Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100 bucks. Interested now? Half price!!!

Again, Mike replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away and dun come near me again.

Ahbeng then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate Mike ...Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much.

Unwrapping the brownie, Mike takes a bite.. suddenly, he spits it out and says... shit!! what the fark is this? It taste like shit!!!

Sir, it is taste like shit! Wanna buy some mouthwash? Going cheap...RM200 bucks only no more discount!! Wakakakakaka

Cartoons Time

2007-11-09T14:33:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to say today. Just enjoy the cartoons.

This video is awesome

2007-11-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

I can't imagine one could possibly sniff one whole glass of coke with his nose. In normal circumstances, with all the gas in the glass of coke how could he do it? When I drink a glass of coke using my mouth, I also got problem consuming it. Wakakaka!!

Tell me, is this guy real? or is this just a stunt? He did it in front of so many audience, that could not be fake right? I must say that I'll give this guy credit for doing this stunt. hahaha.

Louis Koo and Ron Ng

2007-11-05T14:29:00.000+08:00

It was reported that last time round, Louis Koo Tin Lok had advised Ron Ng Cheuk Hei to change his career direction from a dancer to an artist.

Recently a tabloid report claimed that due to Ron's relationship with Louis' younger brother, Ron used this connection to distinguish himself in his early career. It was also said that Louis Koo also borrowed Ron an undisclosed amount of money to help him through financial difficulties.

The tabloid claimed that after Ron attained popularity, he did not repay Louis, but rather spent money on buying clothes, a car, and taking women out. Ron Ng found this rumors to be a joke! He is now very busy in Japan. Ron Ng, Kevin Cheng and Raymond Lam will be performing in Tokyo together with Korean bad boy Dong Ban Shi Ki.

Ada Choi and Gigi Lai

2007-11-03T13:26:00.000+08:00

It is seen that Ada Choi Siu Fun and Gigi Lai Chi are becoming very good friends lately. Shopping together-gather in one of the medical hall shop. Hahaha..perhaps they are buying more "Bird Nest" to keep their baby skin look smoother.

According to my findings, they are actually buying some herbs for Gigi Lai's brother who is recovering from a car accident. Gigi was in good spirits and said that her brother (Lai Ying) was recovering from his brain surgery. They will be heading to the hospital shortly.

Mean time, look out for another nice show by Ada Choi and Gigi Lai entitle "Jewel Splendor". This show very exciting one whereby Ada Choi character married Gigi's father-in-law, (Ngok Wah) and was also Moses Chan's father!! Thus sisters Gigi and Ada Choi's relationship was further muddled!!!!! hehehe...

Oops... I got to adios now. Gigi Lai and Ada Choi are going to the hospital already. Where is my bike? ...!!

The new C-String pad

2007-10-31T13:20:00.000+08:00

Peoples are talking about global warming. With that in line, some one came out with a brilliant brand new product for the ladies. Anything to do with covering your pussy is known as panties. Forget about your old fashion type of ~~underwear~~ panties . Let me introduce you to our latest C-string pad. It is guarantee up to your satisfaction because the products are tested and proven to be effective.

Make no fear if you are having your monthly menstrual cycle. You can still use it together with your so called "Kotex" or "Stayfree" pads. Our product will still manage it. However, it is strongly recommended that you use tampon. If you insert the tampon correctly, the C-string pad will cover it nicely!

Introducing to you the C-String pad.

Make no fear, it will not drop off.

It can be adjustable up to your comfort.

People can't find your underwear line.

Can be easily taken off when you want to pee.It is advisable that you keep your "bushes" well trim. However, we do have barber to do it for you at special rates!

Ease of use. Easily maintained and it is washable. The products come in several color for you to choose from. Right now, we have available stocks for Red, Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange and White. All the C-strings pad come in free size. If you think your pussy is larger, they do custom made also.

Massage parlour for cats

2007-10-29T13:15:00.000+08:00

This cat below sure know how to enjoy life. She enjoyed good food, good accommodation, good company. She is very sexy and very nice to people. Every male cat see her sure want to have a date with her. She like to keep herself clean and smell beautiful.

Didn't I tell you she like to go massage too? Yeah, Massage In the nude. She like to go to Dynasty massage parlour . She even hired her own personal masseur to rub-rub for her!

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Hehehehe!!! I'm enjoying life!!! This is life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halo! come-come...want to join me? We massage together-gether!

Animal cruelty in China

2007-10-27T13:11:00.000+08:00

WARNING !! THE VIDEO SHOWN BELOW WILL BE DISTURBING FOR VIEWERS. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

I'm saddened after watching the following video below. This is really cruelty to animals. I don't know what are the chinese wording says but I know this should not have happened. The dogs and cats are so cute and adorable. Why can't the Chinese government do something about animal cruelty? Dogs and cats are killed for their fur. It seem that these fur are exported to the USA. If you are from US, can you please check if it is real that these fur coat are sold at J.crew. Stop buying these fur coat and save the animal!!!!

STOP BUYING FUR COAT!!!

Brand new skirts in the market

2007-10-25T13:08:00.000+08:00

The picture below are not see-thru skirts. They are actually real prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and are apparently selling like hot cakes in Japan. The guy/gal who created this idea must be a brilliant chap.

What do you think if I import this garment back here to sell. Do you think got people buy a not? Will you guys buy it for your wife, daughter or your secret girlfriend?

Ladies, you dare to wear it and walk around at the Curve? Sure can draw a lot of attention one leh!

Andy Lau Tak Wah

2007-10-23T13:06:00.000+08:00

One of my old time favorite actor cum singer Hong Kong superstar Andy Lau Tak Wah had garnered six big prizes at the Metro Radio Mandarin Music Awards, continuing his reign as the king of Hong Kong's only music awards for Mandopop.The awards that went to Wah Chai included Song of the Year, Singer of Asia and Outstanding Album, for his latest work "Miracle World."

The Hong Kong native walked away as the biggest winner of the night, despite several other Mandarin-speaking singers from the Chinese mainland vying for glory.

Andy Lau was in between Charlene Choi and S.H.E member Ella; one embarrased and nodded, the other touching ~~breast~~ chest-to-chest.

Andy was performing "Sum Gon Bo Bui" when he saw Ah Sa, he took his hand and pressed Charlene's head to his, making Charlene a little "faint". Then, Andy switches targets and turns to Ella, who wore a low cut. Ella danced sexily beside Andy, pressing her ~~breast~~ chest against his, shocking the audience. Unfortunately, in Andy's eyes, Ella is a woman with "a taste of manliness".

Andy Lau boleh!!!

Are you interested in mud bath? I am.

2007-10-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

What a beautiful day! Anyone want to join me in playing mud bath? Mud bath is typically performed in a semi-competitive fashion though presented as a competition between participants, winning and losing is not important. The main purpose is we just want to have some fun. hehehe

Do you know that soaking yourself into this mud, you can actually treat it as a therapy to cure certain type of skin disease and also treating rheumatism? Many men and women nowadays like to play in the mud because they claimed that by doing so it can smoothen their skin and clear dead skin in the body.

Now, will you please excuse me I need to go play-play mud with "leng luis" , how can I miss such an event! Muahahahaha!!

King of Fruits - Durian

2007-10-19T13:01:00.000+08:00

Durian season is up again. Did you ate any durians lately? Every where I go I can see there are durian stalls selling this King of Fruits. There are so many types of durian on display in their shelfs ranging from D24, D101, "cat mountain wong" (Mau san Wong wakakaka.what a name)...red prawns durian (Hung Har) and many others.

Nowadays, one bijik of good durian can easily cost you about RM20-30 bucks. They count by the kilos. Like that where can!! In fact I'm buying the durian skin as well. Kakakaka..If you got no cash money in your pocket, don't worry you can still enjoy these nice King of Fruits. You can always eat first then pay later. Makan Hutang!! There is one particular stall I encountered so good wan, they give you to eat the durians first then in 30 days time then only you pay. Like that "Mana mau cari"

You no believe me? I no bluff you wan wor!! kekeke...aiyo..see for yourself lah if you don't believe me. This time you all no need to scroll lah!

See..told ya..I no bluff you wan. Use your credit card only ma. They accept Master and Visa credit card wan.

Hong Kong Gossips

2007-10-17T02:19:00.000+08:00

Psst!-Psst!! today got a little bit of gossip from Hong Kong. The other day Alex Fong said that Ekin Cheng and Yoyo Mung were getting married, which means Yoyo Mung will become Mrs Cheng. When the reporter rush over to interview her when she was filming a new series show with Kevin Cheng, she denied that she has got married and told the reporter to do a proper search. Yoyo Mung then said the person who is going to marry is Alex Fong!!!

When filming that time, Yoyo said that "Being Kevin's wife in this series? But I'm not Cheng Chow (Niki Chow Lai Kei)! When she said that, it make Kevin feel a little embarrassed.

Kevin Cheng and Yoyo during filming.

Yoyo Mung then continued : "Alex Fong is the one who is married, but I don't know who Mrs. Fong is. You can look it up, but then you have to search on Alex's real name, see how he will respond. Actually I'm thinking this is for promoting."(Would you keep it a secret when getting married?) "I've got nothing to hide. I even admitted it when I was dating Ekin haha."

Niki Chow Lai Kei (Kevin Cheng mia gf)

Where is Chimpeng?

2007-10-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

One fine day, an old apek was busy looking for an empty space to park his Mercedez at Bangsar when suddenly there is Ahbeng knocking on his car glass window.

Ahbeng: Encik ah...can tumpang tanya sikit ar? tu Chimpeng mana ar??

APek: What? What talking you?

Ahbeng: Neh...tu chimpeng, Chimpeng lah...I asked the guard already leh...he said here got one Chimpeng wan.

APek: Sorry lah, gua tarak tau wor! Apa tempat tu Chimpeng?

Ahbeng: Aiyah...neh...itu Chimpeng balu open wan neh...I mau pigi angkat wang la.

Apek: Tarak tau la boss. That wan is kedai ka apa? Ah long ka?

Ahbeng: Aiyo! Chimpeng bukan kedai la ma...lu itu pun tak tau ah? itu Chimpeng maciam itu Maypeng , Pubric Peng....itu Chimpeng sini ala balu buka satu punya leh.

Apek: Oh!!! Mafulatt!!! Siang-siang cakap la..lu mau pigi CIMBank. Kasi gua pening saja.

Ahbeng: Gua memang cakap Chimpeng ma! Diu!!

Wakakakaka!!!!!!!!

Miriam Yeung Chin Wah

2007-10-13T02:09:00.000+08:00

I'm sure many of you have seen her before in her singing career and also in tv. She is Miriam Yeung Chin Wah alias the laughing ~~buddha~~ aunty. Every where she goes her smiles will always be with her. In reality, she likes to laugh. This is one of the reason why she is so popular. Lately, she is also featuring in "Minutes to Fame"...you see her sure laugh till drop!

She once said that to entertain people one has to entertain herself first. When we are entertaining others, it's also a form of psychological therapy for ourself. Smiles or laughters can stabilize emotions. That why I like to laugh!! and end my comments in your humble blog with wakakaka!!, Kekekeke!!, Muahahahaha!! among others.

My friends, start smiling and laughing today. It's FREE!

The Camel Story

2007-10-11T02:06:00.000+08:00

THE CAMEL STORY

A mama camel and her baby camel are talking
one day when the little one ask, " Mum, Why I have
got these 3 toed feets?"

Mama Camel replies, Well my little camel, when we
trek accross the dessert your toe will help you stay
on top of the sand so that it will prevent you from
sinking.

I see! said the little camel.

A few moments later, the little camel ask, Mum,
Why I have these lovely long eye-lashes?"

Mama camel replies, they are there to keep the sand out of
your eyes on the long journey through the hot dessert.

Thats wonderful Mum, replies the little camel.

A short while later the little camel asks again , Mum,
Why I have got these great ugly humps on my back?

Mama Camel replies, Oh, they are there to help you
store water for our long journey accross the dessert
so we can go without drinking water for very long
periods.

Wow!! That great, replies the little camel. We have
great feet to stop us from sinking into the sand, long
eyes-lashes to keep the sand from entering our eyes
and the humps to store water, BUT Mum !!!

Yes, my little camel? replies Mama camel.

BUT THEN,

"WHAT THE 'FARK' ON EARTH
ARE WE DOING IN THE ZOO?? "

Mama Camel was stunned and said TIU !! GO BACK TO
YOUR CAMP.!!

TVB's Sonija Kwok Sin Lei

2007-10-09T02:04:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong TVB's Sonija Kwok Sin Lei was accused of being the third party in Michael Tao Dai Yu's divorce, she left Hong Kong for a few months. After completing several promotional events in April, she flew to Vancouver. Allegedly, Sonija will be returning to Hong Kong to celebrate her upcoming birthday in July with fans.

Sonija always placed importance on fan gatherings. Each year, she will get together with her fans on her birthday.

In 2006, when Sonija was intertwined in negative rumors with the wealthy Chan Kwok Keung, she still celebrated her birthday with fans.

Sonija's birthday will be on July 22nd, however her fans will be planning a gathering on July 14th to celebrate early. This will be Sonija's 33rd birthday.

When Sonija was interviewed in Vancouver, she clarified that she was not the third party in Michael Tao's divorce. She noted that there was no chance of further involvement with Michael.

The pair were no longer in contact and it was not necessary for Michael to be concerned about her.

2007-10-07T01:57:00.000+08:00

Lets talk about armpit hair. I remembered someone mentioned that one of her Indian colleague don't shave her hairs be it on her armpit, upper lips, hands, legs, nostrils and "there". You think yourself where lah...Kekeke

She was told by her dad that shaving hairs from "ANY" part of the body will make her sick or have bad luck. How true is that? Any Indian friend here can enlighten me?

I would like to ask you what would happened when you see a women wearing sleeveless with a jungle hidden under her arm? Probably, many of us guys will get disgusted with that or perhaps some of you might get turn on! hahaha. Some said that womens with ~~long~~ armpit hair got big sexual appetite. Can some women reader enlighten us also please! Many also said that China's "girls" all don't shave their hair!!

What about womens reactions? Probably, the womens may start to gossip already. Eeee...look at that women so ugly never shave.

Now, I wanna show you some bulu!! Very nice shot taken from the body. (Men lah of course! Let the ladies here gets turn on abit!) Sometimes, things are not imagine them to be. I'm decent you know! Hang on to the picture for around 3 seconds to see the reactions.

So what do you think? Mens armpit hair? What are your reactions?

2007-10-04T01:44:00.000+08:00

Today's story is about one grand daughter got "pooh pek-pooh pek" from her grandma. The story like this one. She used to go out dating with her boyfriend very often. Grandma scare her grand daughter is no more virgin, so granny want to give her some good advise .

Granny: G.daughter come sit here. I wan to give you some advises about young boys.

G.daughter: what about ar?

Granny: If your bf try to kiss you ...don't let him do that.

G.daughteri: Ah por-por, kissing is normal wor!!

Granny: you just listen lah..if your bf going to try to feel your breast, don't let him do that! if yr bf wan to put his hands between your legs, you dun let him do that , wokeh?

Gdaughter: wokeh set! ah por-por I will take your advise.

Granny: I not finish yet, ....most importantly if your bf try to get on top of you and have his way on you, you dun let him do that. It will disgrace the yourself. 'Protect' yourself at all times.

Gdaughter: Ok..ok.. i remember that. Thanks ah por-por for your advises.

With that bit of advices in mind, Gdaughter went on her date with her bf. The next day she told her granny that her date went just fine.

Granny: Apa maciam? Did your bf do anything to you?

G daughter: He tried to do it but I didn't let him disgrace the me. When he tried, I turned him over and tied him and he didn't had the chance to 'protect' himself...then I feel his chess, put my hands between his legs and got on top of him instead and I disgraced him.

Granny:

Piao mei:

Your belakang very hot

2007-10-01T02:39:00.000+08:00

Today's story is about Mike's friend coming to visit him from Eingland. His name is John. They very long time no meet already since the last time Mike visit this John was some 5 years ago. Long time no see of course both of them sit down talked for a while. Mike want to give John a treat because last time John got bring him go to the best restaurant in Eingland. Mike thought of bringing John to eat something hot and spicy.

At the restaurant, both of them enjoying their delicious hot and spicy foods and both of them also sweating although there is air-con . When John finished his food, he called the sexy waitress over and gave some comments. He told her that "your belakang veli HOT". The waitress looked at her back and walked away totally ignoring his comments. Soon after a while, John called the sexy waitress over again and commented the same thing. John said; I telling you that "your belakang veli HOT". This time sexy waitress tulan ledi . She eventually reported the case to the restaurant manager. The manager politely approached the John and told him that his remarks on the waitress is uncalled for.

John is very surprised as to why the manager simply came to him and gave remarks. The manager replied, You commented about her backside!! John of course deny it la and said I certainly did not!!! Manager said, YES, you did!!! You said her belakang veli hot! Halo..Halo...Mr Manager...come here..come here... said John; looked here .... the menu clearly stated here that "sambal belacan" very hot, tasty and spicy!! I'm commenting on your food lah! @#$%
(At this point of time Mike dropped and fainted)

hehehe

Bocor lagi?

2007-09-29T02:36:00.000+08:00

Due to the facts that every now and then government office leaking here and there. !!

Bocor teruk kata Samy
Wiring lama kata Ramli
Bangunan tua kata Nazri
Najib said it's PWD

Semua ada alasan sendiri
But where you all spent the money?
RM90 juta untuk cantikkan lobby
So that it looks luxury

Nice décor and nice settee
But now you kena letak baldi
Bocor teruk when it rains heavily
MP yang busuk pun boleh mandi

The floor is wet and slippery
The luxury lobby now looks untidy
Inilah dia third class mentality
Luar cantik tapi dalam very shoddy

Structure work should get priority
And now whose responsibility
JKR or Parliament Committee
While you all gaduh sama sendiri

Rakyat want an answer immediately
Otherwise kita tak bagi you undi
Sebab you spent money unnecessarily
You know it is taxpayers' money
So please spend the money wisely.

Improve your English

2007-09-27T02:27:00.000+08:00

Mike hasn't got a job for several months already. He is so
desperate to find a job to pay for his expenses. So one day,
while he was hunting for a job he accidentally bumped into his
old classmate and chatted for a while:-

Mike : Excuse me!! are you John? John Chow?
John : Errrr.. you are..

Mike : I'm Mike la, your old classmate from Junior High.

John : Oh ya!! I remember you. You're the one who is always
late for class.

Mike : That's me!

John : How are you? What are you doing now??

Mike: Me doing no fine la John. I'm coming to town to look
for a job. Eh... got any "vacancy' to recommend a not?

John: Actually, I know a friend of mine his company is looking
for a coast guard officer. The job is very easy..just monitor the
in coming and out going ships. And report to your superior.
Do you have any experience in shipping line? Your English also
must be good....

Mike: Oh..tat's no plobem wan. Last time I oso got work in
MISC wan. My English OK.

John: That's Great!! Okay then..I'll call up my friend and
let you have that job.

Mike: Tenkiu.. Tenkiu

Mike finally got that job . After introducing Mike to the
other colleagues, his superior bring him to his work place and
said " Its all yours" then left.

A short while later Mike received a MAY DAY call that a ship is sinking!!

To continue with the story..you watch this video la.

What are you thinking about?

Wuahahahahaha.....

GP girls

2007-09-25T02:21:00.000+08:00

Whether it is Motor GP or F1 racing, I am loving every minutes of it. Firstly can see my favorite F1 team race at GP and the cost of their cars will come in millions. Can buy one high class bangalow with swimming pool. Which one would you want to buy if given this money? F1 racing car or bangalow with swimming pool? The other thing I like about this kind of event is of course the "chicks" lah. They all looked so sexy can die!! The killer weapons in them is the attire. For sure all the "mens" out there are drooling by now. . See till you drop!!Now you got it blader!!! wakakaka.

I am sure many of you gals want this type of body figures, true anot? Firstly, you got to exercise and must go slimming classes. Anyway, If you don't have body figures as above also never mind lah. As long as you don't look like the pictures below you consider okay !!! I really wonder what will happens if the gals below wear bikini at the GP finals. Do you think there will still be spectators?

Kekekeke

The Ahbeng story.

2007-09-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

Today's story is about Ahbeng admitted to mental hospital. One day, Ahbeng had a bad fall in the bathroom. He has no bleeding whatsoever. His wife Ahlian is damn worried about his condition because he has not touch her for quite sometime already some more he is talking to himself every day. Sometimes he is normal, sometimes he is not. Ahlian thought her husband is getting crazy, so she sent him to mental hospital for observation.

At the hospital, Ahbeng found a new friend Ahkow. Both being crazy liddat, they are placed in the same room. Their daily routine are exercise, watering the plants, sweeping and cleaning the hospital compound etc. One fine morning, while they are out doing their daily routine, suddenly Ahkow saw one sexy image in the swimming pool. He dived into the pool and tried to grab hold of her. Who knows he don't know how to swim. Ahbeng saw him struggling in the water and he dived in to the water to save ahkow. Everyone in the compound saw his heroic act including the medical director. Soon after, they are all asked to go back to their room.

Few hours later... the medical doctor called Ahbeng to his consultation room.

Loctor: Ahbeng! We have good news and bad news for you.

Ahbeng: Smiling ledi!!

Doctor: The good new is we are going to discharge you today bcoz you have regained your senses, you able to jump in and save another patient.

Ahbeng: Hooray! Claps hands!!!

Doctor : The bad news is, the patient Ahkow whom you saved committed suicide. He hung himself.

Ahbeng: ?? Hung himself?? Are you crazy doctor?!! He didn't hung himself there. His body wet-wet leh. I hung him there to dry. I tight him that time he some more moving here moving there wor so I fastened it tighter lor!!!!!

Doctor:

Raped By a Donkey

2007-09-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

Next time when you happens to be at the country side and want to go for nature call, go straight to the nearest petrol/gas station. Never pull over at the road side to ease yourself. You might find yourself rape! No....not rape by a rapist. I mean got rape by a donkey!!! wakakaka!!!!!! You no believe me? Donkey also like human backside you know. Perhaps, this Mike backside smells better. Hope you like this video.

Blank Mind

2007-09-11T01:58:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to blog about today. I should be relaxing at home. Woke up round 10.30am, get myself clean up and had my breakfast as usual. I have "pan mee" for my breakfast and my favorite "cham ping". Came back want to relax also cannot, got to do house chores. Beside sweeping and mopping the floor what I hate most is cleaning the toilet. Wash, clean and scrub is the most tiring job I can imagine to do in the toilet. How I wish I got "servant" to help me out doing it.

There after, I got to take care of my 2 aquariums. Change the aquarium water. Scrub the tank. Haven't done that is 3 weeks already although the water still looked clear. Off and on, I need to change half tank of fresh water in. I can noticed my 'fung sui' fishes are growing bigger and bigger each day. I have been feeding them fresh prawns everyday. Next, another tiring job to do is car wash. Haven't wash my car for 2 weeks liao. Being raining quite often nowadays. Anyone want to volunteer washing my car? Kekeke.

Now what I need most is a good massage! Perhaps, heading to the nearest massage centre will solve my body ache. Wakaka!! Little guy like the picture below so syiok relaxing wor! Got people scrub-scrub ...rub-rub for him leh. I so jealous lah!!! You see his face lansi a not?

Relax brader! Why you so "kan cheong"?

Red Alert

2007-09-08T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'm itchy backside yesterday. I opened one of the spam mail from my mail box. The title was "f#&* you Ahwah. I eager to know what is this person wrote it in there. So I open my door to this virus!. There is no messages in the mail, only some codes. SHIT!! ...one click only it takes...my computer infected with virus already! My modem light blinking so fast..and shit...it was some Trojan Horse downloader.

My AVG antivirus detected and heal it. There after moved to the vault. Anyway, I reformatted my PC and it is like new again!!

Cone kick my ass

2007-09-07T17:53:00.000+08:00

Halo-halo!! all come-come. I know that I have been talking nonsense, toking horny stories every now and then. You all said I'm horny type of person. Some one want to MSN slap me, knock my head and want to slap me some more! You all don't love me at all? Okay, today I give you the chance the kick me far far away, ok? See you can kick me how far!! Oops...before this, I must say this...can wipe your shoes first a not? Wakakaka!!!!! After kick already you don't hate me anymore.

*updated*

Gua mia latest rekod! 102425 meters

Many thanks! It seems that many of you like to kick me. Hahahaha!!! Anyway, I found this game is rather funny and it can train your skill in kicking someone ass!. There are indeed a lot of other games in this pictogame.com. No only kicking someone. The other game I found very interesting is the pinching game and it is funny too. The game is like this...you may put your picture on the screen then click start, a lot of pimples will gradually appear on your face. You will be given one minute to pinch as many pimples as you can. The run down clock will your timing. Try this game. It is interesting.

Dangerous Insects

2007-09-06T17:50:00.000+08:00

Have you come across this insects? It seems that it have been attacking quite a number of people lately and it is poisonous too. Wondered if you have read the Chinese news paper a not, this insects does not sting or bite. It is the urine that is extremely acidic which causes the infection.

Looks like ants to me.

Oops..there are many more.

For those of you who have children at home, please ask them to be careful and tell them about this so that they are aware of this insect. Ask them not to touch it!!!

Miss Universe 2007

2007-09-04T17:49:00.000+08:00

Riyo Mori of Japan was crowned Miss Universe 2007. The 20 years old defeated 77 other candidates from around the world in Mexico City.

She achieved the highest score in the swimsuit competition, which advanced her to the top ten and the evening gown competition.

The event which took place...video uploaded by motgiacmoyan.

Bad Road

2007-09-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

The Malaysian highway/freeway is considered one of the best in the world. They spent millions of dollars building these roads. It's because it is their tax payers money. If not you are still using the old truck road to go back your home town which will take you about 11 hours to reach Penang from Kuala Lumpur. In urban areas some roads are not properly maintained and there are a lot lorries using it. With the north-south highway, we can reach our destination in about 4-5 hours.

In some other countries, many of the highway is not up to standard. Watch this short video. Imagine you are in the car and you suddenly vanish in it!! LOL

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Errr...someone wants to add in a message!

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See! I told you I'm doing my job jolly good. Not like other countries!!! Wakakaka!!!!!!

Streamyx please buck up

2007-08-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

I am very stressful lately. Nope it is not due to my work nor not having any piao mei to entertain me. I am actually having problem with my ~~Streamyx~~ stim-mex lines. The loading is damn 9 slow can die. Check-check...my bills all nicely paid up to date. Checked the connections, seems to be okay. Scanned my PC for any virus, trojan horse, it shows NO virus detected.

I wonder what is wrong. Can anyone help me? When I wanna load a page from my bookmark, it show this!

Server not found...please try again! Nabeh, I have been trying for 10 times and above until I gave up! Sometime they play 9 my bekside and show me a blank page! You say vomit blood anot? Then I checked my connection lines from my ISP, it is showing "connected" and the speed is "100 mbps" yet the loading is like fark!. Even an old lady ah porpor walk faster la.

You see. .the speed is 100 mbps and yet loading so slow wan. Last 2 days can't even visit some blog tim! Dunno weather my "fans" will kill me a not .~~Streamyx~~ Stim-mex!!!! Nabeh...you better buck up or else.... hehehe!!!! Sorry ya.. if I have not been visiting you lately. Don't get angry with me, ok? I'm trying my Best! I love you deep-deep!!

Just kidding

2007-08-28T17:34:00.000+08:00

Ahwah.... there is no special day today and I have no particular reason for writing to you. I have no news to tell you....nor I have any problems to discuss with you. I have no gossip to tell you. It is only one of those happy moments when I though of YOU!! and I would like to share these thought with you.

Many SMILES begin BECAUSE OF another SMILE!!

Begins with a lazy day! sigh!!

Acting like a bunny! *woof-woof*

Some sun flower! wakakaka

*Grrrr..help me please..

*woof-woof* - flying high...

John from Europe

2007-08-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

Many foreigners has landed inMalaysia to enjoy the lovely sun. Cheranting, Pulau Tioman, Pulau Perhentian, just to name a few. Today mia stori is about ahlian and one Mat salleh (let me name him as Long John) . It is liddis wan.

One day, Long John from europe arrived in one of the island. After a long journey from Kuala Lumpur, this first thing he wanted to do is to ease himself. He was looking for the toilet la.

When he found the toilet, he saw ahlian was sitting in front of the toilet. He was about to enter the toilet then ahlian stopped him and said forty cents in Cantonese (Sei Kok), Long John scratch his head and just wonder why in Malaysia, they have to "see cock" before entering the toilet.

Long John said "No", but ahlian insisted that he pay up before entering the toilet. Since he got no choice, Long John took out his cock and showed it to her. Ahlian said, NO..NO..saya mau Duit-duit!!! but Long John misunderstood her because he thought ahlian asking for..Do it- do it!!

So, he asked ahlian, "NOW, HERE?"

Ahlian abit angry ledi...just reply "YES, YES" because she does not understand English.She know yes and no oni. kakaka

Long John thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip up ahlian and make love to her and ahlian was screaming and said "SAKIT, SAKIT" !!Again long john thought she asked him to "suck it, suck it" pulak so he said "OK, I will suck it for you" and take the breast and sucked!!!!

Of course ahlian screamed lagi la "Oh, TUHAN!"

Long John misunderstood again. "Too HARD?? OK sweet heart, I will be gentle a bit, OK?"

Suddenly the coast guard security walked by and heard ahlian screaming asking for help, "TOLONG, TOLONG, ENCIK."

But on the other hand, Long John again misunderstood her meaning again and said ,'NOT TOO LONG , just about 6 inches only!!!!

Wakakakaka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Seat Belt Applies

2007-08-24T17:29:00.000+08:00

The road transport department recently has done extensive testing on newly designed seat belt on brand new and old cars. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. The correct installation is as below...kekeke

Errrr...this only applies when someone "talking non stop beside you"!! wakaka.

Do You Know

2007-08-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

Hey, got this from a friend today. Ahwah likes to share it with you. It is quite interesting wan. Really I no bruff you wan. Got lots of pictures to see and at the same time learn something. Apa maciam? I know lah, there are a lot of genius out there who know alot of thing wan geh. No harm seeing this one right? Diswan kira a refresher course. FOR those who haven't seen it yet, here goes....

The liquids inside young coconuts can be use as substitute for Blood Plasma.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crash.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

I burned more colories sleeping than sitting there watching TV. You believe anot?

The King of Heart is the only King without a moustache.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first product to have a BAR code was Wrigley's gum.

Walt Disney was afraid of Mice wan.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. True anot?

My dentist has recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Turtle can breathe through their butt!! Wakakaka

and finally I show you one secret which you have not seen before wan. My friend ahhuat goes to work liddat wan. Shhhh!!! you dun go tell him wokeh? SET? We all quite-quite see lah. Hehehehe...Nih

Wakaakakaka

Sperm Count

2007-08-20T17:23:00.000+08:00

Sperm count is a measure of fertility in a man. Having a man's sperm count measured is a common method for diagnosing problems in couples experiencing fertility problems. Today's story is about Ahbeng. He has this problem of Low sperm count. He tried to make babies with Ahlian for so many years already but still in vain - egg also didn't come out one bijik! So Ahbeng went to see loctor Pek la as part of his physical examination:-

Ahbeng: Doctor-Doctor...I've been trying for so many years already but still tarak la, can help me a not?

Doctor: No worries geh...everything I can kau-tim for you wan.

Ahbeng: Sure a not? You dun bruff me wor!

Loctor Pek: Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow, I need it for testing.

Ahbeng: wokeh set!

The next day Ahbeng reappeared at the doctor office and gave him the jar, which was clean and empty.

Loctor Pek: what happened? Why you bring back empty jar for me? I need your semen!!

Ahbeng: long story la doctor!!

doctor: tell me about it, I'm listening!

Ahbeng: doctor, it like this one... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then of course I asked my lovely wife ahlian for help la. She also tried with her right hand, then with her left hand...still nothing!! She even tried using her mouth leh...still cannot wor!!!

doctor : so at last how?

Ahbeng: we even called up Ah huei, the leng lui next door for help!! She tried too. First she use with both her hands, then her armpit....still nothing. Last resort ahhuei also used her final tactic squeezing it between her legs, but still nothing leh!!

doctor : I'm shocked!! You asked your neighbor??

Ahbeng: Yalor!! Ahhuei very helpful wan. My wife ahlian also here ma! But none of us could get the jar open lah doctor!! That why it is empty lor!!!!

doctor:

Double Vision

2007-08-18T17:20:00.000+08:00

I'm seeing double vision lately. Do you have the same problem? These are good piece of art!

In this picture I saw a beautiful face and on the other hand I saw a tree & 3 birds!

A face and flowers & butterfly.

A face and 2 horses mountain at the back ground.

Naked girl or waterfall?

An old man face or a guy riding on a horse. Aiks! there is another guy sleeping on the ground.

The Green Sneakers

2007-08-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemans, while I was at Burke Street Mall, Melbourne that time, I silently took this picture lah. This lady had no fashion sense at all. Her sneakers GREEN color wan. Really no taste wan. If you all look at her sneakers sure you will agreed with me. Hehehehe!! Got to scroll a bit down. Practice and exercise your fingers lah!
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Halo!! I told you to look at the Green Sneakers !!! You seem to be looking somewhere else!!! Cheh!

Grandma "Geng ah"

2007-08-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

Today's story is about Ahbeng and Ah por por. Like this one the story...AhBeng is a young guy. He is very well built muscular man and handsome too. All the girls in town likes him wan. One day he found himself unemployed and he has to pay his bills, rent, food etc...

This is ahbeng. Muscular a not jek?

In order for him to get some easy money, Ahbeng put up a sign outside the door of his apartment. There below la weii!!!!..where are you looking ?

Not long after that .... ah por por came back from the market, walks pass his door. She stop and read the sign la. Ah Por por thought for a while and then she slowly walk back home. When reached home already, she straight walked into her room and she decides to break her piggy bank. She counted the money....woah!! ah por por happy like bird la!! With the money in her hand, she head for the young man's apartment.

Ah por por knock-knock on the door...

Ahbeng opens the door and ahpor por hands him the money. After counting the money, he tells her it is $100 dollars you have here.......you wanna do it it bed?

Cheng..cheng...cheng....!!!!!!!

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Don't be naive young man! I want to do it 4 times on the floor!!!! You can stand it a not?

Wakakakaka!!

Cartoons - Just Kidding

2007-08-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody!! today I don't have story to tell. Hahaha... but i have cartoons to show you. Got it from my friend. Some of you might have seen it already but nevermine la...i post it can anot jek?

If you were at the shopping mall with your kids and they ask you to buy them balloons...never refuse to oblige. Why?? kekeke...if your kids say this aloud at the counter... what will you do? Pull his ears? Slap him? or you quickly go out from the store? etc....

If you made love to your hubby make sure that your kids are all asleep. And remember to close the door!! Who knows he see and heard what you fellars are doing!! This kid was in school and teacher asked the students...which body part did they think should go to heaven first. You know what? AhBeng's son quickly answered......

Muahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun EVERIBODI!!!!

Ah Tiu Went For Medical Check Up

2007-08-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

One fine Sunday morning, Ah Diu called his best friend Ah Tiu for "lim teh" session. This two old fellars headed to their favourite coffee shop downtown for breakfast. After eating, Ah Diu begin to smoke his first cigarettes of the day and started a conversation with Ah Tiu.

Ah Diu: Oi..ah tiu ar...nowadays hor.. alot of people si beh sked of dying lar. I can see many peoples are heading to the nearest hospital for medical check-up liao.

Ah Tiu: I dunno wor...people health conscious kenot meh?

Ah Diu: Yalor..I think we should go for check up oso lah since our age catching up ledi. Somemore 'lu si beh song' la just got married to another 21 years old wife. Liddat, you lagi must go for check la see your little brader still can work anot!!!!

Ah Tiu: No need check lah Ah Diu... "Waa tiam tiam ka lu kong" hor...i think my brader still can lar!!

Ah Diu: Woah!! really ar?

Ah Tiu: Of course la. Na Beh!! baluuu yesterday my 21 years old wife told me she is pregnant liao.

Ah Diu: Si kiu lu!!! Kong hee!! Kong Hee sama lu sien.

Thereafter, Ah Diu and Ah Tiu went home seperate way la. On the way home, suddenly Ah Tiu dunno why "siam" straight to the hospital for check-up. At the Doctor opis, Ah Tiu and the Doctor mia conversation:-

Ah Tiu: Loctor..loctor!! Waa ka lu kong horr, I've never felt better in my entire life man, in fact I have a 21 years old mia wife who is pregnant and having my baby! I hor si beh happy liao.

Doctor: At first the loctor check-check Ah Tiu punya chest la then.. can you take off your pant & underwear..i need to do a test. (while the test is in progress, ah tiu asked the loctor)

Ah Tiu: ang chua? what do you think loctor?? eh sai boh??

Doctor: thinks for a while and shake his head and says , Ah tiu, let me tell you one stori la...it liddis wan. I know a guy whois a hunter, he never misses his hunting season. But one day horr he is in a hurry to go hunting and he accidently grab his umbrella instead of his rifle. While in the forest, suddenly a tiger appears out of no where in front of him. This guy raises his umbrella at the tiger and squeezes the umbrella handle and the tiger drop dead in front of him. So Ah Tiu.. ang chua? what do you think??

Ah Tiu: That's impossible loctor!! How can that tiger just drop dead liddat..someone must have SHOT it.

Doctor: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to tell you that!!!!!

Ah Tiu: Tiu lor!! Hailat lor liddat!! Jialat liao!!!

Muahahahahahahaha

Place I really want to go

2007-08-08T17:08:00.000+08:00

This is a tag from 5xmom and Laundryamah. They tagged me on the same tag. Place I wish to go. kekeke!! Of course i like to go holiday la who doesn't? If really given the chance, I would like to visit London, UK. I'm a fan of Arsenal Football club. I want to visit Emirates Stadium and watch a live game Arsenal vs Manchester United in the stadium.

The Emirates stadium

If there is a Arsenal game sure i got glued to the astro ESPN channel 81. kekeke!!

Arsenal Logo and jersey

Arsenal stadium layout.