Mutu and the 7 pigs

Mutu being a farmer growing vegetables finds it hard
to make money and he has too many daily expenses to cope
with. Mutu sat down under the tree feeling very sad and
starts to figure out how on earth to make fast money.


After spending several hours under the tree, he suddenly
came out with a brilliant idea to make money the easy way.
No more planting vegetables and plucking them to sell in
the market.

Mutu then proceeds to the nearby town and bought several
pigs hoping to breed them for ' ham' , 'bacon' etc. so that he can
supply it to all the supermarkets in his town. After about a
month, Mutu noticed that none of his pigs are getting pregnant
and decided to call his buddy fren Latok Maniam for help.


Mutu: Halo Latok Maniam ar...I know last time you got breed
pigs before. Now you rich and become latok ledi no nit breed
pigs. Can you teach me the secret of breeding pigs anot??

Maniam: Wuahh..dis wan ar..veli susah to tell ler somemore this is
my grandfather mia secret wor. Kenot simply tell geh.

Mutu: We brader ma, tell me little bit nebermine wan la. I
won't tell your grandpa I promise.

Maniam: Ok la, we brader no kira wan.. wat you wanna know jek?

Mutu: I want to gets my pigs pregnant wor, how ar?

Maniam: Aisey..easy ma..use the artificial insemination method la.

Mutu: Oh..lidat ar, then how do I know my pigs are pregnant?
How to see ar?

Maniam: Aisey..veli easy to see wan.

Mutu: How ar..how ar?? faster tell me lar.

Mamiam: lidis wan..If you see your pigs not standing around
and lay down wallow in the mud then hor they are pregnant lor.

Mutu: Wuahahaha..ok..ok..i know ledi. tenkiu..tenkiu.






















Mutu quickly hangs up and gives this some thoughts. He comes
to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to
inpregnate the pigs. So Mutu fast fast load his pigs on to his truck,
drives them into the wood..had sex with them all, brings them back
and goes to bed.

Next morning, Mutu wakes up and looks out at the pigs. Seeing
that they are still standing around he thought that the 1st try didn't
worked out. He loads them in the truck again and drives them out in
the woods bang each pig twice for good measure, this time kaw kaw
wan brings them back and goes to bed.


Next morning, Mutu wakes up and find the pigs still standing around.
One more try, Mutu tells to himself and proceeds to load the pigs up
and drives them out to the woods. He spent all day shagging the pigs
and upon returning home he falls listlessly in to bed.

The next morning, Mutu cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
at the pigs. He ask his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are standing
or laying in the mud. Then Mutu's wife quickly rush out and have a look.



Mutu's wife came back and said....



































my dear hubby...all the pigs are in the truck and one of them is
honking the 'Honk' asking for you to bring them into the forest
wor !!!!!!





Wuahahahahahaha....

Beware of these guys

If you visit 1 Utama, please pay special attention
to these guys from Philippines. They worked in
groups of 6 to 7 peoples in pick pockets in lifts and
car parks.

The Ten Deadliest Creature

POISON DART FROG

This pint sized frog are not for kissing. Their backs ooze
a slimy neurotoxin that is meant to keep predators away.
Each frog produces enough of the toxin to kill 10 humans.




CAPE BUFFALO

When faced with a predator, cape buffalos charge head-on.
That is 1500 pounds beast topped off with two big sharp
horns. You're lucky if there is only one - the real danger
comes when a herd of thousands stampedes in your direction.








POLAR BEAR

Sure they might look cuddly at the zoo but in the wild they
eat elephant seals for breakfast. Get between one of its cubs
and it could easily rip off your head with one swipe of its
giant paws.





ELEPHANT

Not every elephant is as friendly as dumbo. Elephants kills
more than 500 peoples a year worldwide. Arfican elephants
generally weight in around 16,000 pounds - all the better
to stomp you with, not to mention their sharp tusks.






AUSTRALIAN SALTWATER CROCODILE

Don't mistake this croc for a log !!. It can lay still in the water
waiting for passers by. Then, in a blink of an eye it will lunge
at prey, pulling it underwater to drown and dismember.




AFRICAN LION

Giant fangs? Check.. Lightning quick? That too. Razor sharp
claws? You betcha. Hungry? You better hope not. These big
cats are near perfect hunters.






GREAT WHITE SHARK (4)

Blood in the water can excite this shark into feeding frenzy
where they will use all 3,000 of their teeths to bite
anything that moves.






AUSTRALIAN BOX JELLYFISH

Also known as the sea wasps, this salad-bowl sized jellyfish
can have up to 60 tentacles each measuring 15 feets long.
Each tentacles has 5,000 stinging cells and enough toxin
to kill 60 humans.




ASIAN COBRA

While the Asian Cobra doesn't hold the title of venomous, it
does the most with what it has. Of the 50,000 deaths by
snakebite a year, Asian Cobra are responsible for the
largest chunk.





MOSQUITO

Most skeeters bites just make you itchy. But some mosquitoes
carry and transfer malaria causing parasites. As a results, this
little pests are responsible for the deaths of more than two
million peoples a year.

So the WINNER is Mosquito !!

Why Disneyland Say No To Malaysia

This is the recent conversations between the President of Disneyland
International and Senior Vise President of International Marketing.

President: So what's the latest in international front?

Vice President: Lets see, hmmm..,yes we have an inquiry from Maraysia.

President: Maraysia? Where is that? In Thailand?

Vice President: No..no..that's somewhere south of Thailand, small country
shape like a banana.

President:Okay.. what do they want?

Vice President: They are interested in setting up disneyland there.

President: Oh really? That must be near Hong Kong. How are we doing in
Hong Kong?

Vice President: Ohhh.. Hong Kong is fine. That because the weather in Hong
Kong is great and very conductive to outdoor action for the
whole family.

President: What about the weather in Maraysia then?

Vice President: Blistering hot, up to the thirties. Then they have two monsoon
six months apart.

President: Hmmm, go on.

Vice President: And when it rains the place flood like hell. Cars washed away,
trees uprooted and landslides.

President: You're kidding me are you?

Vice President: No sirs, I have got a report here that says only 4 days ago
an Indonesian community was washed away by landslides.

President: Indonesian community?? I thought you said Maraysia??

Vice President: Oh yes, but they have hundred of thousand of illegal workers
mainly from Indonesia.

President: What's the crime rate like in Maraysia?

Vice President: Oh my, pretty bad sir. Snatch thieves, rapes, childred kidnapped
and killed....just last week alone a little girl was found dead. And
the crime rate is expected to go up.

President: Expected to go up?? Who said that??

Vice President: The police themselves said that sir. They threatened to let the
crime rate go up if the goverment sets up a commission that
all of the policemen dont like . SEE. it here on the net.

President: They even circulated that kind of threat in the net??

Vice President: Apparantly, a dumb corporal did it by mistake.

President: Tell me more about the police there.

Vice President: Well, a report here says last week there was a peaceful
demonstrations against some tariff hikes and the police bashed
them up, beat the hell out of them. I've got pictures.

President: Oh..sounds brutally efficient

Vice President: Oh..not really ..cos last week there was another demonstration;
this time against a forum held in a hotel, and the police couldn't
control the crowd. They actually asked the people in the forum
to go home.

President: What more can you tell me about Maraysia?

Vice President: Hmmm, Let see...Oh yes, they produced fake DVDs by the
thousands and actually sells them openly.

President: Geee... that bad huh? Well, we can't let them touch our merchandise
then, can we?

Vice President: No Sir, Oh..one more thing.

President: And that is??

Vice President: According to a politeness survey conducted by Reader's Digest,
Malaysian is ranked third-worst out of 35 cities!

President:Alright..alright..I have heard enough. WE ARE NOT SENDING
MICKEY AND MINNIE MOUSE THERE, CAN WE??


Wuahahahahha..